Assertiveness is a strong card to hold in your hand of business skills. Having the ice-cool nerve to take tough decisions, and even to say no to the boss, can earn you the trust and respect of those above and below you. Yet being assertive does not mean being aggressive or rude - this approach merely causes contempt.

Generally speaking, the more a working relationship develops, the more assertive you can be as you become familiar with colleagues and their relative strengths and weaknesses. But what about when dealing with strangers, say at a job interview? Even if an assertive nature is a pre-requisite of the job you are applying for it can still be difficult to demonstrate this in front of people you don't know and in a situation where so much is at stake. If you were to hold back and only partly assert yourself then you may come across as lacking the mental strength to deal with the awkward situations the job would throw at you. Yet if you were to let rip with both barrels in a no-nonsense Mr T 'get some nuts!' way then you may appear rude and pushy. As in many aspects of life, the key lies in getting the balance right.

In fact, demonstrating a lack of assertiveness at work can have negative consequences as you may be seen as a soft touch and, as such, all of the undesirable jobs will be delegated to you. Yet at the other end of the scale it is important that you remain in control at all times. No matter how difficult the situation becomes you should never allow your frustration or anger to show. So how do you achieve that correct balance of not too soft, not too aggressive assertiveness that gets your point across without putting noses out of joint?

One way of speaking with authority but without going over the top is to be sure that you know exactly where you stand in any given situation. Saying no can be made considerably easier if you take the time to familiarise yourself with all of the details of the matter in hand, be it the background of a job you are working on, or the terms and conditions of your employment. Having this knowledge allows you to speak with confidence on the matter and thus be more assertive. It is difficult to be assertive if you do not know if whether or not you are within your rights to refuse a request

By way of example there was one job I had where I was asked on a Friday afternoon if I would come in to work the following day. I knew that, according to the terms of my employment, working on Saturdays was a completely voluntary option and not compulsory. Armed with this knowledge I refused politely as I had already made arrangements to do something on the Saturday (we were off to Flamingoland). The supervisor who had asked me was slightly put out at my response, but because I knew where I stood on the matter I had the confidence to say no. My refusal to work that Saturday had no adverse affect on the rest of my time in that job and I was not blacklisted as some sort of Bolshevik agitator - they accepted that I was merely being assertive.

So attaining that right balance of assertiveness can be aided by knowing exactly where you stand, as this instils confidence. Assertiveness is another business skill that is much sought-after in today's workplace, and so I would suggest you study it further. Go on, assert yourself.