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I Just Called To Say I Love You: The Yin And Yang Of Office Relationships
Fri 23rd April 2010
The people you were with throughout your work day remained a thing of the past until the next morning, these were the people who you talked 'shop' with, attended meetings with and maybe shared the odd drink or two...nothing more. Your partner, wife, dog or kids were the people who really got to know you; they were the ones who saw you without your 'work hat on', so to speak. The ones who would put up with you picking your toenails during a good movie and the ones who would give you a cuddle even when you had been jogging for an hour and smelt like something that would turn up a rat's nose.
However, times have changed and the distance between work and home is starting to become smaller. Longer hours and closer working quarters mean that in some instances, employees are becoming more comfortable with their co-workers than their own families.
The general rule is to avoid office liaisons at all costs and many companies strictly forbid such intimacies. But the moment something becomes taboo, the whole idea suddenly starts looking even more inviting.
Yes, it is easy to make John in accounts look like a tempting apple you would just want to put your lips to but before you succumb to his advances, you may want to glance through some core reasons why you should give apples the 'no no'.
Make it a point to check through office policy with regards to company relationships.
No-one can afford to lose their job in today's economic climate especially as a result of some flirtatious eye contact. Don't let that sexy pout turn into a tearful one even if your co-worker is someone to die for.
Take care when making the first move.
Computers at the ready make it easy to send playful messages which can often be read by unscrupulous eyes, especially if you use Outlook. This has a handy or 'not so handy' auto address selector. Far easier and safer to give the guy or gal in question a call and ask if they would like to meet up for a drink after work. If the offer is declined, do not pursue it. If it is accepted, arrange to meet somewhere a long way from work so as to avoid tongues wagging and possible repercussions.
Make sure that you really like this person and are not just after a one night stand.
Flings can be awkward and uncomfortable if both parties did not really feel the same. There is nothing worse than having to go to work every day with awkwardness clouding the air. So if you are looking for someone to meet you in the printer room for a bit of je ne sais quoi...think again, that one moment of madness could put a strain on the rest of your working days.
Remember, the way you see a person at work, may not necessarily be the way that they really are. People have to be more formal when stepping outside of their comfort zone, so take time to really get to know your co-worker inside and outside of the office before plunging into a relationship.
As a mark of respect, it would be advisable to inform your boss of a serious relationship.
The last thing he would appreciate is hearing it second hand from gossip spreading round the office.
Consider your other fellow workers.
It could throw the whole work dynamics right out of the window if your colleagues feel that you appreciate one of them more than rest. Try to keep the relationship outside of work and treat every staff member the same. This is handy if the relationship should fizzle out as you could end up feeling very lonely when colleagues start to leave you out of conversations and evenings out.
Be prepared to look for another job if your relationship does not go down well with your co-workers or boss. It is very easy to be accused of having 'a favourite' thus leaving your work colleagues feeling quite insecure and vulnerable.
Don't rush in like a bull in a china shop.
A work relationship is different to a usual relationship as you get to see each other every day, so take time to get to know each other before you decide to meet up in the bedroom.
Leave any disagreements outside of the workplace.
Work life and home life should be separate. The last thing workers want to do is become embroiled in your personal affairs, it makes work life very stressful for all concerned.
Don't use business trips as a way of combining work and dating.
Your mind cannot function professionally at a half-hearted level and business opportunities could be missed when the mind is not fully alert. This, in turn, could jeopardize your chances of promotion or a potential salary increase which was looming.
Don't bring your affection into the office.
If you think that the odd kiss and cuddle will not go amiss in the lift, you could be in for a big surprise. There is always someone waiting to squeal and before you know it, the jealous cleaner or canteen worker could land you in hot water.
Show your employees and your boss that a work relationship will not affect your standard of work and maintain a professional and dedicated approach to your work at all times. This way, you may not have to make the dreaded choice between your sweetheart or your career.
Avoid dating your boss.
It very rarely works out and you will always feel under their power. Plus, they will get to know more about you than you would usually reveal.Things could spiral downhill from there!
Author is a freelance copywriter. For more information on emotional intelligence at work training london, please visit https://www.stl-training.co.uk
Original article appears here:
https://www.stl-training.co.uk/article-871-the-yin-and-yang-office-relationships.html
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