During an unsuccessful challenge for the Republican nomination in the 1968 US Presidential Election - both contests eventually being won by Richard Nixon - Michigan Governor George Romney spoke of the influence the military had had on forming his opinion of the Vietnam War. He claimed that he'd been 'brainwashed' into believing hawkish views on the conflict which he later found to be untrue - a claim to which Democratic candidate Eugene McCarthy retorted, 'Brainwashed? I'd have thought a light rinse would have sufficed'.

Hopefully, when you're looking to influence others in the course of your work, you won't hold the same opinion of them as McCarthy did of Romney. But you'll still need to be looking at something rather less than brainwashing; an aggressive, forceful approach to persuasion is rarely a good idea in business, and certainly not if you're looking to maintain a positive and harmonious relationship. Trying to bash an idea into an individual's mind will only lead to them associating the notion with an unreasonable attitude and an unpleasant experience - and whatever the circumstances that require you to be persuasive, whatever the intended outcome, that can never be a good result.

Successful influencing is about cooperation, agreement, harmony. It's not about merely telling another what it is you want them to do or think, but of convincing them that that action or way of thinking is right. As such, it's a question of understanding yourself, and what effect and impact you have on others, what impression you make. How you are perceived by others creates - or destroys - an environment in which influence becomes easy to apply effectively.

The most important word in that is 'perceived'. When it comes to influencing others, how you feel in a meeting, negotiation or any other work interaction or relationship is of far less importance than how you appear to feel. You might be angry or upset inside, yet by projecting an image of calmness and supportiveness, your audience will feel more comfortable and receptive to what you're telling them, more willing - if unconsciously - to be guided by your arguments.

And that guiding is what you should want to achieve - not pushing anyone into a decision, but leading them towards making the right decision of their own volition. Yet how can you be sure that your actions are having the desired effect, are creating an environment commensurate with successful influencing? The key lies with seeing yourself as others see you. It's essential to understand the impression you put across and the impact you create, not merely from your own (let's face it, utterly biased) perspective but through the eyes and ears of others.

Appreciating what those eyes and ears pick up requires an understanding of its own, an awareness of their situation. What are their intentions and expectations? What might they be expected to have concerns about, and what may be for them a source of optimism? How does their situation compare to yours - strong, weak, superior, inferior, senior, junior? What would you expect their initial view of your position to be?

How they view you, the environment you create, and the stance you're taking will be very much dependent on those issues - so your approach must look to address them. For instance, perhaps you're working with an individual who is visibly nervous and in a markedly inferior position to yourself: in this case, successful influencing will require a lot of calm consideration and supportive words, encouraging them to feel that you're on their side. Or perhaps the opposite is true, perhaps you're faced with someone in a senior position who's starting from a position of having little time for your suggestion: on this occasion, the metaphorical arm around the shoulder is no longer going to help; instead, clarity, firmness, and commitment may be more prized.

An understanding of who you're trying to influence and how they might be feeling - both about the matter in hand and the circumstances in which they find themselves - is crucial to being able to adapt your behaviour in order to control the way that you are perceived. And it's important always to remember that how you feel inside is irrelevant so long as the perception of you is conducive to the persuasion you require. Understand yourself, understand others, and you'll find that you can have the most positive influence on your organisation's future.