There is so much written, taught, and published about good communication skills, it's now getting hard to boil it down to what exactly constitutes good communication, and how to gain success in this field. Therefore here are the three "golden rules" to communication and how they work. It's the three P's - Practice, Planning and Positive Thinking.

Practise

Some people are natural communicators, but they are the minority. Communication skills are exactly that - a skill - that needs to be first learned, then repeated over and over until practise makes perfect. It's all very well going on a training course, but unless you put into practise what you learn, you're going to regress back into your old communication styles- after all, they were a habit of a lifetime!

If you are particularly nervous about speaking in front of a large number of people, for example, it's not enough to do it just once. You should ideally seek out public speaking roles - not meaning being paid to find after-dinner gigs (some people desperately want that particular career and don't get it), but there are clubs such as Toastmasters and so on that will happily let you hone your skills, and give you feedback, too.

Or, for example, you needed to work on your body language. Get a close friend or significant other to point out (gently) when you're lapsing back into the things you're trying to avoid- lack of eye contact, folded arms, and so on. If you want to improve the way you look when you speak, then there's nothing better than watching - and learning - while you speak in front of a mirror. If you explain what you're doing to those around you, it won't be that strange! It's probably more common than you think.

Planning

Sometimes we can plan our communication events, such as speeches, workshops or presentations. However, sometimes you just can't plan. Let's say, for example, that you've been called into an impromptu meeting by your boss in order to discuss sales figures. Rather than get nervous about what you're going to say, also consider how you're going to say it. You can speak about negative content with a positive attitude... it's a thousand times better than communicating negativity with a sour vibe. Which do you think your manager would prefer?

In those precious minutes you have before you go in, you can plan - and make yourself aware - of what you're going to do in the minutes ahead. Sometimes you can have longer to plan, but if you consider your communication strategy before blurting it all out, you're more likely to have more control over your communication style.

Positive Thinking

Not every communication goes the way we would like - that's life. The worst thing to do is to let it eat at you for very long - let's say you fluffed a presentation and forgot your notes, stumbled, and didn't make a fluid pitch. It happens to the best of us. Ask for feedback if you want to deconstruct what went wrong. Your boss will be far more pleased to help you rather than you hiding away with your head down for a few days, mulling over it.

Brush yourself off, and move on - communication happens every day, so with a positive attitude and some practise, another opportunity will come around again. This time, you should grab it!