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How Do You Manage A Change In A Person?
Wed 27th October 2010
It is not necessarily our job to pander to the whims and emotional cycles and changes of people we work with, but learning how to manage changes in people can help us. The changes in others won't go away and like it or not they will affect us. Taking some time to employ some simple management techniques can therefore make our lives easier.
I once worked for a software company that provided technical support to clients. I noticed that one particular client was often particularly changeable. I questioned the clients account manager and her exact words were, 'that lady is totally schizophrenic.' One morning she would call and would be charming and polite and the next day, although little had changed from our side, she would be raging at us and threatening us with official complaints.
The first step in managing changes in people is to get to know them as well as you can. If you have a good working relationship with a person who is generally friendly and firm and suddenly one day there is an unreasonable outburst it can be shocking. It is easier to realise that some personal event or work related event has triggered this unreasonable behaviour and this makes it easier to manage. In this case the best tactic would be to remain calm and polite and deal with the query or person as efficiently as possible. Distance yourself as quickly as you can since this kind of change in a person is best left alone for a while. The person is far more likely to go away, calm down and may well recognise their behaviour as inappropriate and apologise for it. If you do not know the person then you may be tempted to assume that they react like this all the time.
It may be more obvious when an event or series of events is affecting a person's behaviour if they are a work colleague. If you know that a colleague has had an awful day and has been put upon by their boss then this may well change their behaviour towards you, particularly if you are asking them for help. This situation can be managed best by attempting to help if you can. If someone sees that you are prepared to put yourself out to help them out of a bind then they will be grateful and this will strengthen your relationship. Nobody is suggesting that you work overtime every night to help, but helping in a small way can be enough. Perhaps talking to him or her about how to resolve the situation more permanently may also help.
Sometimes the reason for a change in a person is far less obvious and this can be particularly unpleasant since it makes you feel unappreciated and abused. In this case the best way to manage the change can be to attempt to ask the person why they are suddenly behaving differently and aggressively towards you and if there is anything you can help with. Do not do this in front of people! Do not embarrass the person, but perhaps ask them to come for lunch or even a coffee. If this is not an option then ask for them to come into a quiet meeting room. Explain that you have noticed a sudden change which has led to some behaviour which you feel was unjustified and you would like to know why. Remain calm, but firm and approach this from a caring angle. If people feel like you are adding to their problems or attempting to discipline them, then they may become defensive. If they feel that you are on their side and would like to help them if something is wrong them they may open up to you.
So far these kinds of changes in people have all been emotional. What about physical changes? It may be that someone has an accident or a disease or even a baby that means they change physically. It may well be up to you as a colleague to help manage that change. This must always be handled with sensitivity. Provided you are polite and never mocking, most people will not mind you asking questions about a condition that obviously affects their everyday working life. As a manager it may be your responsibility to help manage this change since workstations may need adjusting, maternity regulations must be addressed etc. If you go to lunch with a friend every Thursday then you would both still want to do this, despite a disability or another change such as a new baby. Talk to them about how the change affects them and the usual routine. A different more child friendly restaurant perhaps?
Managing changes in people can be very difficult. People are often private about events which affect their lives, even if it affects yours too. Remember never to pry into another person's private life. You do not have to know the gory details in order to manage the change affectively. If there is a problem you are within your rights to address it, but not to know the reasons why. Provided a person reflects upon and then remedies the situation, then that it as far as you can go.
Author is a freelance copywriter. For more information on managing change training, please visit https://www.stl-training.co.uk
Original article appears here:
https://www.stl-training.co.uk/article-1236-how-do-you-manage-change-in-person.html
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