The Trainee

Have you noticed how when a new format of television show is a big hit, it generally spawns a series of similar ones? Pop Idol, Strictly and even the rather unpleasant A Life of Grime have all had their imitators. The success of Bargain Hunt led to a series of shows that centre on auction houses, including Flog It, Cash in the Attic and Dickinson's Real Deal. In fact, my television has been present at so many auctions lately that I think my TV unit has woodworm.

The popularity of the TV show The Apprentice has prompted me to produce my own spin-off from the show, The Trainee. Working to a far tighter budget than the original, The Trainee features moderately successful businessman Alan Saccharin, who invites a selection of would-be managers to perform a series of tasks and, by a process of elimination, he whittles the contestants down to the one who will earn the coveted title, The Trainee.

The project this week is to sell low-fat ice-cream to the cafeteria at a weight loss club. By his own, rather loud recommendation, young James was the obvious choice to manage this project. He is young, dynamic and very ambitious, but his ability to manage a project was proven to be lacking. We join James as he is on the carpet before the man who holds his destiny in his hands, Mr Saccharin.

"Your running of the project was far from perfect, James, and, as project manager, its failure is down to you. While I don't doubt your enthusiasm, this alone is not enough to cut it in the razor-edge world of business. You lacked leadership and your communication with the team left a lot to be desired. You failed to compile any sort of project agreement, which is the foundation stone of a well run assignment, and the only reason I can see for you to neglect such a fundamental part of project management is that you do not know what one is. Let me tell you.

"A project agreement is a collection of all the essential factors relating to a project. What the target is, when the deadline is, how much it all costs, and which team members are allocated which responsibilities. The project agreement is also the place where any changes to the project, such as extended deadlines or extra costs for example, are noted so that it gives an accurate and up-to-date picture of the status of the project at all times. Your own idea of a project agreement was a few notes scribbled on a sheet of A4 - clearly inadequate. But this was not your only failing; you also demonstrated a distinct lack of leadership.

"When you were deciding the flavours of the ice cream you allowed Fiona to be the dominant voice, and she practically bullied you into accepting raspberry ripple. The upshot of this is that she was dictating to you how the project should be run. Input from others is important, of course, but you must never lose sight of the fact that you are managing this project and therefore you should be leading the way. You are effectively on the bridge guiding the ship and you cannot allow the hand at the wheel to veer off course in pursuit of his or her own agenda. You needed to take control and stamp your authority on the project so that everyone involved knew exactly what their role was in the operation, but you failed to do this."

James is pink with embarrassment at having made such fundamental errors in his attempt to lead the project. He tries to mumble some form of excuse, but his voice is drown out by the booming voice of Mr Saccharin, who utters those dreaded words,

'James, you're sacked.'