Most people would like to think of themselves as a nice guy or girl, and we strive to be friendly and helpful at work. What if your nice side is overtaking your life? Hardly anyone likes saying "no" - telling someone we can't help them or have enough on our own plate. How can you say no, in the nicest possible way with no hard feelings? Read on!

There is a limit (yes, really) on how nice we can be to others at work without it being detrimental to our own job and tasks in hand. If you're the person always accepting delegating tasks, you might find yourself working late to complete the work you're given as well as your own. If you volunteer for things you don't really like doing all that much, because you think it will be the "nice" thing to do: stop! It's all very well putting yourself forward for the odd task, but do it all the time and you risk becoming the office dogsbody. Even worse, people will expect you to say yes every time, thus increasing your sense of conformity and agreement. Peer pressure isn't pleasant and it often causes us to say "yes" when we really should be saying no.

There can be a very unpleasant build-up of resentment in those of us who are saying yes all the time. The feeling that you're being put-upon may increase further until it all gets too much and you end up lashing out at your colleagues, who never had any idea you weren't happy, just because you've been saying yes to everything all the time. Don't let this be you!

The first thing to do is acknowledge that you need to say no more often - if you're reading this article, perhaps you're painfully aware of this already and you know you have the "nice factor". That's a good step - accepting that you cannot go on saying yes all the time. The first step to improvement would be to examine your feelings towards why you feel pressured to say yes. Is it the kind of job you do - where it's competitive and so cut throat that anyone not putting in 110% is shown the door? Be aware of the culture of your organisation and if it isn't there, don't create one. If there's always someone working later than you, don't feel you have to compete and stay even longer to impress the boss: chances are they will stop being impressed and start wondering how you're managing your working daytime if you're still there in the evening.

Remember that even though the pressure can be there to say yes, the ultimate choice is yours. One can never say "I had no choice" - yes you do! And you don't need to be unpleasant to state your case. Let's say that your colleague is always asking you to do his unpleasant tasks - watering the office plants or refilling the coffee machine, or doing his photocopying. If you've started being taken for granted, a simple "I'm really sorry but I'm a bit snowed under with this project" can be a much softer blow than "sorry, no can do". Depending on the relationship you have with your colleagues you can even make a joke of it - "I'd love to water your plants but I reckon gardening suits you" or some other throwaway jest can really help to say no - in a nice way.

Be aware that saying yes can be as habit forming for the person doing the asking as it is for you. If Fred has always ambled across the office asking you to help him finish his report and you've said yes every time, he's going to take it for granted that you're always going to help. It's best not to get into this pattern to start with, but if you've become aware of a colleague treating you this way, best to acknowledge it and put an end to it - sooner rather than later.

One final reason that many of us say yes is to do with our own place in the office and our self esteem. An office junior, desperate for promotion, may find it very, very hard to say "no" to a manager asking them to act above the call of duty. You can be shown to be hard working but make sure it's acknowledged. At the next appraisal review, don't be afraid to bring up the many times you said "yes" and went out of your way, while at the same time, you can earn respect from your seniors by not being a pushover and always saying "no".

Remember - the opposite of being Mr Nice Guy or Gal is not being nasty, it's just being self-aware, a little bit more confident, and acknowledging that sometimes, it's better all round to say a nice "no".