Leading by example is a difficult task in itself especially when it comes to dealing with those awkward discussions with problematic employees. This is the flip side to management, the part that everyone in authority dreads but sadly has to face. Whilst it is so easy to turn a blind eye to a continuing problem, the situation will not just disappear into thin air. If you are reading this article, chances are you have been in this position with a staff member at some time in your career.

The good news is that there are ways to walk through these hurdles with tact and diplomacy, thus avoiding the need to even have to issue a written warning or an on the spot dismissal. You also get to keep your company out of the law courts as well! Not only will your employee learn the error of his ways but you will also prove that you can handle matters of a delicate nature responsibly with respect and in a timely and orderly manner which is sure to work in your favour.

Let's look at a typical scene where an employee has become lapse in his turnaround time. It is easy to get frustrated and angry at him but anger is an external response which you vent outwardly to voice your frustration. If you feel guilty for allowing this team member to slack, you start to blame yourself and take inward responsibility for the situation. How would you respond if someone yelled at you? Chances are you would feel resentment and try to resist the demands that were thrust at you. How would you like to be treated? With kindness and tact I suspect; there lies your answer. If employees were encouraged to take responsibility for their actions, they will naturally want to change things that displease you without you even having to say a word. But how do you do this? One major rule of thumb is to always treat others as you would expect to be treated. It is no good to demand respect from an employee when you do not give it.

Most of your staff will be looking for future promotion and will have likely joined you as a junior in the hope of rising to the challenge of being able to support you at a higher level. They will learn by your example and will value your trust and honesty as they strive for more responsibility. If you abuse that trust, you could miss out on someone who could have been a valuable asset.

Let's look at two ways to break bad news without causing offence, upset or hostility.

Scene one: "Dave, it has been nice working with you over the past three months but after careful consideration we have decided that it might be best if we part ways. I know that you have made a great effort to impress us and have gone to great lengths to implement all of the techniques that we have shown you, but I am sure you agree that we will never forge a strong working relationship together. You do have excellent skills which are wasted with us as they do not match our requirements and as a result, I am deeply sorry but I have no other option but to terminate your employment with us as of today. I am happy to mark your records as completing a probationary period which means that you will still be eligible to apply for other positions with us if they should arise in the future. I would also like to wish you the very best of luck in finding suitable employment in the near future".


Scenario two: "Dave, I am so sorry to have to inform you that this company has been going through a restructuring program and through absolutely no fault of your own, we are going to have to say goodbye to a number of our present positions. Sadly, yours is one of them, I sincerely wish that this was not the case and that we could keep you on board but at this moment in time, my hands are tied. I will of course, do everything I can to help you through this unpredictable transition in your career and beg you not take this personally. As you can appreciate, cut-backs are taking place within hundreds of companies right now and it just unfortunate that your job has suffered the greatest impact. I would like to do all that I can to help you into another position as soon as possible and am happy to discuss any ways that I can help. But before I go any further Dave, I want to check that you are okay.

Not easy messages to have to deliver to anyone but by using compassion, honesty and understanding, the manager was able to turn two negative situations into one of acceptance without confrontation. People are more likely to accept even the toughest news if you deliver it with a shared understanding and concern.

In scene one, the employee will feel remorse for not gaining permanent employment. He will most likely respond by saying "I am really disappointed, I did not want to lose this job as I have been trying so hard". Inside, the employee will suffer feelings of regret and remorse for not being able to keep his job and will blame himself using inner dialogue such as "I have let myself down".

In scene two, the employee lost his job through no fault on either side. The manager took the time to inform the employee that these things happen and used the words "I am so sorry".

The word sorry is used liberally these days but it is a magic word which can smooth over many troubled waters. Often when an employee is dismissed he will vent; "I gave my heart and soul to this company only to be thrown out without even so much as a sorry". Many court cases could have been avoided if managers had used this vital word. It is only natural for someone to want to sue a company who made them feel humiliated or stripped of their dignity; naturally, they want to win back that respect by taking legal action.

By treating your employees as you would expect to be treated, life becomes much more enjoyable at a management level and everyone can get on with their working day in peace and harmony even when bad news has been delivered. Treat others as you expect to be treated and you will hardly ever be disappointed with the response.